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Happiness comes in waves

The 5 Love Languages

1/4/2021

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This weeks post is going to go over the 5 one languages, now, a lot of you might have already heard of this but for those of you who haven't, read on! Also, if you have heard of this still keep reading - there might be something you didn't know.

The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a book from 1992 by Gary Chapman. It's a wonderful read that I highly suggest if you want to learn more. According to Chapman, there are 5 ways to express love to one another:

~Quality Time
~Acts of Service
~Physical Touch
~Gift Giving 
~Words of Affirmation

Essentially each person gives and receives love in one of these 5 ways, the tricky thing is, the way you want to give love may not be the way you want to receive love so you'll have to think about it in both ways. Additionally, the way you give love may not be the way your partner understands love. 

Let's dive into some definitions.

~Quality Time centers around togetherness. It requires expressing your love and affection by giving your partner undivided attention. This means no phones or electronics, no interrupting with other "things". Maintaining eye contact is important for this love language, your partner wants to feel seen and heard. Active listening is another great way to enhance this experience for your partner. 

~Acts of Service is defined as doing something for the other person, it might be a chore they knew they had to get done that day. Essentially you are taking something, a responsibility, off of their daily to-do list. 

~Physical Touch is being close to one another, this doesn't always have to mean intimacy in the bedroom but can also mean a joint bath or cuddling on the couch, something that creates physical closeness and intimacy. 

~Gift Giving is not usually as lavish as it sounds, this could be something as simple as being at the store and seeing something you think your partner might like - flowers, chocolates, lotion, keychain, jewelry, etc - and bringing it home for them. It is a way to let your partner know you are thinking of them, even when you are apart.

~Words of Affirmation: this love language is all about how you speak to your partner. This type of partner wants to hear about how much you care about and love them. It is how they know what you are thinking and feeling without having to be asked. If your partner is asking you how you're doing or what you're thinking often they usually want to hear something heartfelt and genuine about your relationship. 

Which of these most sound like you? Once you've figured out how you like to be loved, assess your partner, how do they like to be loved? Start doing more things in their love language and see what it can do for your communication. 

If you need more help figuring out your love language here is the link to a quiz to help you better assess, https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
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    I support individuals who find their lives are unbalanced, whether that's from working too much, having unhealthy relationships with themselves or others, or simply needing more from their lives.

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