How to: take criticisms

Taking criticisms can be really taxing. Knowing what to say while being criticized can be even harder. Most of us aren't taught what to say or do to take criticism well. Instead, we have to learn it. In this weeks blog post we will discuss different tips and tricks to taking criticisms, deciding if they are serving you, if you want to change or if you want to let them go. 
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Obviously, listening is the first step, we all know that we are supposed to listen when people are talking to us, discussing their thoughts and feelings. So why is this so hard to actually do? We all know about it and yet, turning off the defensiveness switch and turning on the listening ears is much harder than it should be. Here's the tip, instead of listening to respond, listen to pause. This is the first step in active listening. When you are listening to pause and let comments wash over you it is much less stressful both for yourself and for the person giving the criticism. It also helps the other person feel heard and as a bonus you get a second to think. 

Step two is actually responding, after you pause and gather your thoughts make sure you consider the best way to represent yourself. Being genuine is the best way to go about responding, if you genuinely didn't know you were coming across in a certain way, say so. If you genuinely are apologetic, say so. The best thing to respond with is what you are actually feeling, seeing or understanding. Another tip, if you disagree with the criticism you should not stifle your own opinion to make someone else happy, try starting your sentence with "From my side, it feels like _______". That way the disagreement is not an attack of the other person but more of a perspective shift. 

Lastly, own it and ask questions! If you don't understand what they are referring to or how to "be better" communicate that and see if they have any ideas. Maybe the other person has struggled with what you are struggling with and they could offer you some advice.

Remember, the most important part of taking criticism is being authentic, genuine and true to your own feelings and needs.