Taking criticisms can be really taxing. Knowing what to say while being criticized can be even harder. Most of us aren't taught what to say or do to take criticism well. Instead, we have to learn it. In this weeks blog post we will discuss different tips and tricks to taking criticisms, deciding if they are serving you, if you want to change or if you want to let them go.
Obviously, listening is the first step, we all know that we are supposed to listen when people are talking to us, discussing their thoughts and feelings. So why is this so hard to actually do? We all know about it and yet, turning off the defensiveness switch and turning on the listening ears is much harder than it should be. Here's the tip, instead of listening to respond, listen to pause. This is the first step in active listening. When you are listening to pause and let comments wash over you it is much less stressful both for yourself and for the person giving the criticism. It also helps the other person feel heard and as a bonus you get a second to think.
Step two is actually responding, after you pause and gather your thoughts make sure you consider the best way to represent yourself. Being genuine is the best way to go about responding, if you genuinely didn't know you were coming across in a certain way, say so. If you genuinely are apologetic, say so. The best thing to respond with is what you are actually feeling, seeing or understanding. Another tip, if you disagree with the criticism you should not stifle your own opinion to make someone else happy, try starting your sentence with "From my side, it feels like _______". That way the disagreement is not an attack of the other person but more of a perspective shift.
Lastly, own it and ask questions! If you don't understand what they are referring to or how to "be better" communicate that and see if they have any ideas. Maybe the other person has struggled with what you are struggling with and they could offer you some advice.
Remember, the most important part of taking criticism is being authentic, genuine and true to your own feelings and needs.
Alright guys! We're going to talk about the power of words in today's blog post, specifically the words "have to" vs "want to". As most of you already know, words hold power, the way you talk to yourself and others matters. When you are talking about future things you "have to do" take a breath and think about how that affects you. When you say "I have to do ..." does that bring positive tones? Probably not, right? So how do we change our feelings about something? Well, first, we change our words, at first you'll think about something in terms of "I have to do ..." and then correct yourself to something closer to "I want to do ...". Eventually, as you get batter at catching yourself you'll just start the conversation with "I want to do ...".
What this does is it changes your mindset completely. You'll find yourself thinking positively about doing "everyday" things and more likely to choose to do those things rather than procrastinating them. Changing your life and your mindset is all about the small steps, the little "tricks" you can pull on your brain to be more connected and productive.
Remember, if you or someone you know needs help creating a healthy work/life balance, more positive self talk or just changing your inner monologue in general feel free to get ahold of me for a complimentary discovery call.
I support individuals who find their lives are unbalanced, whether that's from working too much, having unhealthy relationships with themselves or others, or simply needing more from their lives.