Alright, let's talk about resourcefulness! Most of you probably know what resourcefulness means in relation to having a job; overcoming difficulties easily, finding useful tools/ideas/objects. But what does it mean in relation to ourselves? The actual definition is as follows; having the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties. It's not "why can't I" it's "how can I". Being resourceful is all about changing your mindset, instead of looking at things and seeing the negative characteristics or pieces of the situation it's about finding the places you could fill in, figuring out what next steps to take to fix the issue, no matter how small. Now the question is, how do we do this?
1. Look for ways to be better.
-Before the crisis happens figure out how to be better, more educated, quicker turn around, etc. That way, you are prepared, constantly evolving and have less of an adverse reaction to the change that comes with overcoming difficulties.
2. Make connections.
-Talk to people, find out who is good at what and create relationships with them. That way, when the difficulty arises you have someone you can call on, someone that can either help you or knows someone else who can.
3. Educate yourself
-Knowledge is half the battle when it comes to being resourceful, when a situation comes up it will be easier to deal with you have knowledge about the topic or situation. You will have a quicker time coming up with a solution if you have the knowledge to back it up.
Resourcefulness is not something you are born with, it is not inherent. It is something you learn to be, it is something you do. A person can become resourceful by working at it. These 3 tips will help you get started on your way to being resourceful!
A little background about Rumi before jumping into the quote we are going to process today. Rumi was a 13th century Persian poet originally from Greater Iran, he was known for his work being transcendent of national and cultural barriers.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
Let's break this down a little. I don't know about you but when I read this quote my whole body did a knowing "ohhhh yep" in recognition of how important this work is. Truly acknowledging and understanding our own walls and barriers is one of the most important first steps to truly moving through and processing our own thoughts, feelings, actions and emotions. The beginning of this quote acknowledges the act of knowing that you do not have to seek love, love is already around you, it is already there. You simply have to go within and look for the areas that you find yourself resisting, the areas where you think about doing the work and then go "oh no", those are the areas that are most important. Sometimes it is worth it to work through things on our own and sometimes it is more beneficial to work through things with another, either a friend or professional. Once you have found those barriers to love, the ones you thought were in your way, the next step is to recognize that those barriers are not keeping you from love, love is already there. Those barriers were most likely put there to protect you except now they are no longer serving you, recognize them, acknowledge them and then let them go.
As always, if you or someone you know needs help working through this, finding their barriers to love and taking them down, feel free to contact me to set up a coaching session.
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice.
Whether you have to forgive yourself or another person it is up to you to make the conscious choice to do so. I want to stress, first, that when you forgive you are doing so for your own benefit. Next, I want to stress that if you are forgiving another person you DO NOT have to tell them they are forgiven for it to be beneficial for you. In fact, in some cases that is not ideal. However, if you believe that you would have more closure if the person you are forgiving knew about the forgiveness then you can absolutely tell them. It is important to tell them for the right reasons, if you are searching for their reaction - that is not the right reason, that will not bring you peace. If you are searching for inner peace by speaking your piece, that could help you on the journey towards that goal.
Now the next question, how do you start the long journey of forgiveness? There are a lot of different ways we can go about this but I am simply going to share a few of the things I do and have done that have helped me.
1) Write out a list of the people who hurt me who need my forgiveness; write out a list of the people whom I have hurt who I would appreciate forgiveness from.
2) Meditate with a forgiveness mindset, go through the names, ask each for forgiveness or say "I forgive you", if you are having extreme difficulty with that last piece you can add "not for you but for myself".
3) Use your empathy to find meaning behind the pain, find the "silver lining" or the lesson the situation taught you and be grateful for that.
Forgiveness is a choice, it is not a feeling, you do not simply arrive there with no work. Doing the work to forgive those who have heart us can make the situation less hurtful and can make our lives more peaceful. So the question is; why not?
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with forgiveness (either of themselves or others) go to my contact page to set up your complimentary discovery call today. Together we will work to solve this problem for you!
This week I want to empower people to be proud of themselves. I know that a lot of people, as children, are not told that they are someone to be proud of and that in itself can be very disempowering. It's another way to say that you are not enough.
There is a difference, however, between being proud of your accomplishments for your own emotional well-being versus using your accomplishments to diminish someone else's. Of course, the kind of proud we want to be is proud of ourselves for ourselves because that is what is going to give you healing. Recognizing your accomplishments for yourself will help you feel empowered to continue reaching for a goal or completing a task or simply filling up your own emotional tank.
Here's what you can do:
1. Write your accomplishments down, your reasons to be proud
2. Sit with each of these accomplishments and think about what you learned from it
3. Close your eyes and let those accomplishments and lessons wash over you
4. Feel proud - write down how it feels in your body when you are proud, do you smile? Tilt your head back? Hold your head higher?
Once you acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments, good deeds and efforts you will start to feel your emotional tank fill. You will feel more self assured without ever having to hold those accomplishments over the head of someone else, you won't be looking for that validation from elsewhere since you will already have given it to yourself.
If you are struggling thinking of your own accomplishments, good deeds and/or efforts please feel free to reach out to schedule a coaching session. Being aware of your successes instead of just your mistakes will help you move through the world in a more productive and balanced way.
Emotional labor is a term used to define how people manage their thoughts and feelings as well as the work done to understand the thoughts and feelings of someone else.
Emotional labor is defined as putting energy into dealing with the feelings of others, putting them at ease without self-regard or meeting social expectations.
First, I want to acknowledge how difficult it is to do a lot of emotional labor, especially when it needs to happen for a persons job. It can be very draining, mental work. The better we get at doing emotional labor the better we will understand ourselves and others. Some ways to get better: when you start to feel emotions, look within, think about why you’re feeling that way, what triggered you and how to move forward without letting that emotion take over. When you notice the emotions of others become analytical, think about why that person could be feeling that way, this is to provide empathy NOT to prescribe your own feelings on another person. Give yourself grace when you’re first getting started, the hardest thing is to be aware of what you’re saying and doing and why. Awareness will most likely come to you after the conversation or situation, sometimes, a long tome after. Eventually you will start to become aware closer and closer to the situation and you’ll continue learning until one day you are aware of things during the situation and you can start to shift your actions and reactions on the spot.
Remember, if you need support working through this or learning how to become aware and do the emotional labor to better understand yourself and others you can reach out to set up your own complimentary discovery call! Happy Monday everyone!
Your are worthy. You are strong. You are enough.
This week’s blog is going to be a bit of a story time focusing around balance. Life balance, work balance, relationship balance, you name it.
When I was younger I had no sense of balance, I’m talking walking into walls... Granted I was 3 years old so that probably had something to do with it but still. As I grew up I stopped walking into walls but I continued to have no sense of balance, I would over work myself, over schedule myself and start tearing my own hair out due to stress.
I’m not going to tell you some huge success story because honestly, I still struggle with it. What I will tell you is that just like most things, it takes practice. It’s easy to get lost in the every day but carving out those times for yourself is so important, especially now, among all the crazy world circumstances. Doing the work to educate yourself and those around you takes emotional labor - a term we will dive into next week - make sure that as you change the world, you’re also making time for yourself. I stress this point a lot in my blog and my work because I know what it’s like to not make time for yourself and to not be able to differentiate between yourself, what you want and others and what they want. Giving yourself the gift of a balanced life can help you spend the time with yourself to really delve into your own wants and needs.
Remember, everyone needs someone, if you’d like a little extra push or a cheerleader to bring you through some difficult situations I’m here to help! Go to my services page to learn more about pricing or scheduling your complimentary discovery call. Have an awesome week!
There are 6 different aspects of self love as seen in the previous blog post. I've attached a wonderfully informational document I found on Pinterest that defines the different types.
When you are making time for yourself and working on self love, remember to be intentional about the type of self love you show yourself. If you get a lot of social self love but not a lot of spiritual self love, focus on something spiritual. Also, acknowledge the self love that you do, if you let it go without acknowledgement it won't feel as momentous, it won't feel as comforting as if you take the time to sit with and give space to the love you're already giving yourself.
I want to talk about giving grace, both to yourself and to those around you and even still to those you don't know. In this time of change and complete uncertainty it is important to give yourself grace. When you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed out give yourself grace, don't judge yourself or others too harshly, even baby steps make a difference. If all you can do is baby steps, take it. Rejoice in those baby steps. If you take a step in the wrong direction, acknowledge it, understand it and then move in a different direction. There is no "right" or "wrong" choice, there is only the choice you make. You are doing the best you can, give yourself some grace if you "mess up", find the lesson in your mistake and then give yourself the grace and the space to move forward from it.
Remember, if you need help giving yourself grace and finding the space for yourself or others feel free to reach out for a coaching session or a discovery call.
I want to talk about your reservoir of self love. When you take care of yourself you fill up your reservoir of love, self love. When that reservoir is empty you can't take care of another person, there's no room. Maintaining your own reservoir is very important, not only for you but also for others. Having a full reservoir means you have more to give, you can show your love more freely because you aren't trying desperately to hold on to the small amount of love you have left. When love is abundant within yourself it makes it easier to love others. Being able to prioritize yourself with this mindset that it will ultimately help others will make it easier to take the time and space for yourself. Now the question is how?
We all know the trendy self care activities including, take a bubble bath, light some candles, put on a face mask, etc. However, there are actually more things you can do! You can meditate, connect with nature by taking a walk, connect with an old friend, play with animals, and so much more. Next week's blog post will go over the 6 different types of self love and what to do when you aren't nurturing that aspect so stay tuned!
Shout out to Just Break Up - a wonderful relationship advice podcast that eloquently discusses the reservoir of self love.
Standing up is one of the most brave and empowering things you can do. Standing up when the world is in a state of crisis is even more brave and even more empowering.
Stand up for yourself, take the space you need. Standing up takes courage but you are capable, you are strong enough and you are worthy.
Now the question is how?
1. Take stock of your emotions when certain topics come up
2. Sit with yourself and your feelings surrounding those topics
3. Determine what you can do that will bring you back into alignment with yourself
4. Now do it, stand up, ask for what you need and don't give up
Everyone is worthy of standing up and taking up space.